Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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