You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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