I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
