they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
