im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
