with your own penis?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
