Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
