I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize