don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
