Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
