The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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