How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
