I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
