well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
