talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize