I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
