Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
