i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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