yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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