why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I want you more than these girls want KFC
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
