HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Life is so much better after having sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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