i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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