did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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