you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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