Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
