I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
