i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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