i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
