she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize