He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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