this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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