Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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