He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
