Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
