Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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