if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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