can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
