There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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