i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
