it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize
