is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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