:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
