i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You are the jesus of drinking
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
