so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
