If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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