Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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