bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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