i was born a porn star she said
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So vagazzling was a success
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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