from now on my penis is your penis
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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