Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
