How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
