we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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