Whoa Z and x make the same sound
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
