I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
