Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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