so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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