Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
