spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is Oprah even human
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
